Peyton Manning: The Archer of Arrowhead

2 March, 2011

His neck injury originated from
his Super Bowl disappointment. 

Peyton Manning will probably be cut sometime in the next week. He's due a giant 28 million dollar bonus if he is on the Colts roster on March 8th. This after they already paid him 26 million to not do anything last year. The Colts could still choose to keep him, but with Andrew Luck practically on their roster, and apparently facing a rebuilding period, it makes little sense to pay him.

And if you're wondering why they don't pay him and then trade him, the answer is that they technically could, but they won't. If they trade him after March 8th, they'll have 44 million dollars in dead cap space, spread over the next two seasons (and when the cap is around 120 million, that's a huge problem). Plus, they would need a trading partner willing to take on his huge contract (which has 4 years left on it and lots of money), which nobody is going to be willing to do since they don't know for sure that he can play.

Peyton could restructure his contract and stay with Indy, or he could be traded and agree to restructure his contract with the new team, but he has no incentive to do that. Let's say he helps them trade him by taking a smaller contract, all that will accomplish is weaken the team he's going to by making them trade for him rather than being able to sign him freely. It's in his best interest to not restructure, have the Colts cut him, then decide on his own where to go and not make his new team give up anything to get him.

So the question now is where does he go?

Sup Ladies?

His goal is to win a super bowl...or two. He might have six years left in him...or none, or two, it's impossible to say. Prior to this season, he had never missed a game in college or the pros. In fact, he'd only ever come out for ONE play ever, and that was because he broke his jaw. He rested a play and finished the game, and played the next week. Okay, dude is ridiculously durable, plus he takes very few sacks. He's led the league several times in least times sacked, despite attempting more passes than most. Remember Aaron Brooks? He played for like 6 or 7 season for the Saints. Yeah, he was sacked more times than Manning has been from 1998 to 2010. So maybe this neck thing is fixed and he'll be back to normal. Before last season, it seemed reasonable to think he'd last another five years or more. He's lost speed, but he was never fast or relied much on his running ability.

I bet his thinking is that he will have two or three years and his goal is to win two super bowls. Gotta beat his little bro. Pick the right team and he could do it. Pick the wrong team and he'll be remembered for going down with some crappy team.

The best way to get to a super bowl is to lock up a #1 or #2 seed, get that playoff bye, and lock up one or two playoff home games. A #1 seed just has to win two home games and they're in the super bowl. The Steelers and Ravens are in the same division, and if both of them are 13-3 and have the two best records in the AFC, they don't both get byes. One gets a bye, the other is a wildcard team. You really get screwed over by being in the same division with another good team. So his goal will be to join the best team in a bad division.

The teams that have been talked up the most include the Redskins because owner Dan Snyder has deep pockets and can offer him a lot of cash. But they're in the same division with the Cowboys, Eagles, and defending champion Giants.

I mustache you a question.
 Do you like 6'5" Quarterbacks with a Laser, Rocket Arm?

The Dolphins are receiving a lot of buzz, but they play in the same division as the Jets and Patriots. Do you think PM really wants to have to get by Belichick and Brady to get another ring? The Jets are getting some buzz too, but they have a dysfunctional locker room, an aging team, and again, play in the same division as the Pats and the Bills who showed flashes last year.

The AFC East is out, so is the North (Steelers, Ravens, and Bengals all made the playoffs last year). Some people in Tennessee have been clamoring for a return to the Volunteer state, but they play in the same division with the Texans who might have gone to the super bowl if they stayed healthy. Plus he'd have to go against the Colts and Andrew Luck. You think he wants to spend the end of his career getting drubbed by his replacement?

The NFC East is out. The Bucs and Vikings have gotten some attention too, both have decent young QBs, but might make a play for him. But he won't be interested. Why go to the same division as the Bears, Lions, and Packers? The NFC North is out, so is the South (Falcons, Panthers, Saints).

That leaves the AFC and NFC West.

Replaced by a goofy kid that was mentored by the guy
 you yourself replaced. It's like Fucking Shakespeare. Literally.

The Seahawks seemed to have become one of the favorites to land him. They have a young team, and a poor division. But the 49ers are also in the West and Jim Harbaugh (who Manning replaced as the Colts QB in '98) has that team playing great. With that defense they're going to be a tough competitor. The Cardinals are another possibility, but again, play with the 49ers. The Rams have Sam Bradford and a bad team so they're out.

The 49ers might be the dark horse in all of this. They're generally counted out because of Alex Smith's emergence as a good quarterback. They very nearly cut the former #1 overall pick before the season. They decided to keep him and he blossomed. Maybe they're willing to sit him down or get rid of him. With that defense and the Seahawks (and Tarvaris Jackson), Cardinals (and Skelton or Kolb), and Rams (doesn't even matter who their QB is) on the schedule, they would be basically guaranteed to clinch their division by week 13 for the next few years.

In the AFC West, the Raiders just spent a bunch of picks on Carson Palmer, who's also an old QB, but still 4 years younger than Peyton. The Chargers have Rivers and he's not the problem. The Broncos have Tebow...they're too busy developing him into a Wildcat quarterback to pull their heads out of their asses.

Mannings look good in Red. 

That leaves the Chiefs. They have a solid young defense. If Eric Berry is still himself when he comes back, he'll be one of, if not the game-changing safety for the next few years. Tamba Hali is one of the elite pass rushers. And while the defense isn't perfect, they are young and improving a lot. The Chiefs biggest problem is that they don't have a great QB. They have had one of the best running games in the league the last few years. Jamaal Charles had one of the best years all time for a running back two seasons ago. If he's back healthy, he'll be one of the top five running backs in the league and a threat to break out for long touchdowns. They also have Dwayne Bowe, who's a huge target capable of making acrobatic catches. 2nd year Jonathan Baldwin might turn into a rising star. He did have one of the best catches of all time last season (though called back on an unrelated penalty). Breaston is a good slot receiver, Moeaki can be a great tight end. Add in the fact that Reggie Wayne is going to be a free agent too and is rumored to be a package deal with Manning and you've got quite a set of weapons in Kansas City.

He's like the hall of famer of Backups.
Palmer and Leinart  Heisman seasons, Brady, then Manning?

The Chiefs are picking 11th and I've seen several mocks with them landing either a great offensive tackle, or perhaps an elite nose tackle. Put that together with a Peyton Manning offense in Kansas City, going up against the perenially retarded Raiders (who don't have a pick until round 5 of this years draft), the constantly disappointing Chargers (who are sticking with the cold fish Norv Turner and losing several key players), and the Fighting Tebows, who have a great defense but almost no offense at all. In fact, the success they had last year was based mostly on doing something novel that NFL teams didn't quite have figured out yet. Next year they'll be ready and they'll shut that run game down and make Tebow beat them with his crappy arm.

Montana changed from 16 to 19 so as not to offend Len Dawson.
Manning's thinking of switching TO 16 because who the hell is Len Dawson?

So I honestly think that the Chiefs are probably Peyton's best bet (unless some team that already has a good quarterback decides to bench him for Peyton, like the Texans, 49ers, Ravens, Eagles, Cowboys).

Peyton Manning, the Archer of Arrowhead, the Chief of Chiefs, rocking the Red and Gold, can give Kansas City their first playoff win since Joe Montana.