Michelle Bachmann Wants To Ban Di-Hydrogen Monoxide

August 11, 2011

Representative Michelle Bachmann (R-Min) took the house floor today to rail against Di-Hydrogen Monoxide. Earlier this week she raised doubts about global warming by claiming that Carbon Dioxide is "a natural byproduct of nature. It occurs in Earth." Watch the clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAaDVOd2sRQ  

She even went on to claim that,"there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas ... it's a harmless gas." She's right, as far as my Googleing can tell, there isn't a study. I also can't find a study that shows cutting off your own dick isn't a fun activity. So maybe we should all try that.

Today she took the floor and lobbied for congress to ban Di-Hydrogen Monoxide. "This substance kills thousands of people every year. Breathing it in can cause asphyxiation. Drinking too much of the liquid form can cause death to unnaturally occur to the person that is drinking all that liquid. It's a killer."

Di-Hydrogen Monoxide is a potentially lethal substance and it's a byproduct of everything from car exhaust to space shuttle launches.

When reached for comment, Professor Hubert Farnsworth stared into the distance for a moment then simply said, "I don't want to live on this planet anymore."

While the scientists try to get their act together and decide which chemicals are good and which are bad, one thing is for certain, we should all watch out for deadly Di-Hydrogen Monoxide.

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